My Writing Career (thus far)

Mike and I entertain each other and make each other laugh every day, so we've become convinced we can do the same for a wider audience. It's true that we don't have the ability to ply you with tequila, which is the magic elixir that brought us together, but nevertheless we will do our best to make you fall for us with our wit, humor, and if all else fails... naked photo shoots?

One of Mike's wishes for this blog is, as he mentioned, to give me an outlet and possibly some recognition for my writing. I'm pretty sure that Harper's Magazine editors are browsing Blogger all the time, so no worries on the fame front. It's true that I've always wanted to be a writer, or, as I would have said in the first grade, an "Author." Ever a bookworm, Authors were my idols as a grade school kid. I also wanted to be an Artist, Teacher, Mommy, Singer, Piano Player, and to become famous for my awesome Dirt Bike Riding skills. One goal at a time, though.

When I was first able to read and write, I started making joke books. God knows why I was so enthralled with corny jokes. I collected them from adults, kids, books, and made some up. I composed my books of jokes on construction paper and bound them with staples - they were illustrated in crayon and each unique. The crowning joke of my best ouevre was the following: "If a rooster lays an egg on a hill, which way will it roll down?" Wait for it... "Neither. Roosters don't lay eggs!"

Later, in grade school, we made illustrated books that were sent away to be bound for us. I know I made one, but my memory of my own book is eclipsed by a great scandal that broke out when my younger brother made his book. He wrote about a family vacation we'd taken and described catching a fish in the lake with our dad. But I was there and I knew they'd never caught anything! My indignation that this fabrication actually made it into publication utterly consumed me. I think I'd written about Christmas or something, but none of that mattered when my little brother was perpetrating this great injustice on the world of Authoring.

In college, I centered my Plan of Concentration around - who would've guessed it - making books. Although I majored in art, the illustration of these books interested me only somewhat, and the bindings were even less compelling to me. The concepts and the writing of them pleased me the most.

After college, I had a brief entanglement with a webzine that went nowhere in particular. I wrote some humor pieces and some more serious articles. Although our fan base consisted mainly of friends and various barflys we'd prosthelytized to along the way, I got a thrill out of being almost-semi-not-really-famous for my writing. On one occasion we had a launch party at a bar, and a girl I knew only as a ditzy webzine groupie came up to me and gushed over how much she loved my work. I almost died of happiness on the spot.

I think, sadly, I'm a writer trapped in an artist's body. The pain of my existence is that I'm better at art, but enjoy writing more. I create wall finishes for a living but still dream of toiling over words all day. People who knew me in college always ask if I still draw, and the answer is no, but I have file upon file of random memoir, fiction, or essay scribblings to show for myself - that I never do show.

So here I'm branching out, from regaling my husband to regaling, like, five or six more people. And I can assure you that my husband, too, is a blog waiting to happen. If we can actually sustain our interest in this for more than a week, I promise you, it will be totally sweet.

The Real Humans Re-Boot.....

Welcome to the Beta blog for the new and improved Real Humans blogsite.

Erin and I decided that we are going to become more dedicated in posting on this site. In fact, I am gonna post Monday, Wednesday, and Friday and Erin is gonna post Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. Maybe we'll let the lil' pooper Russell post on Sunday.

Hopefully, I haven't just put a load of pressure on us to keep posting, in fact don't be surprised if you never hear from me again.

So, why are we getting more serious about this? First, because Erin has no choice, I'm forcing her to do this. Not really, but I did kind of just pop this up and volunteered her energy. The other reason is to follow our dreams, why not right? I know it would make Erin's dream come true if she were to get published, and for me, I've made all my other dreams come true why not this one.

There was once a time when I would smoke a lot of pot and dream that some day I'm gonna find some woman who will fix me and make me whole. Now granted, I needed to quit smoking pot in order for that dream to come true, that was another dream of mine, one day I would quit smoking pot. Don't get me wrong pot people, I love the weed, in fact I love it like an alcoholic loves booze, which is not a good thing, for me (sorry alchies, no offense). The thought would go through my mind that some day I'm gonna meet a woman who makes me laugh, loves me like crazy, and cooks like a champion. On top of that, she'll be super cute too.

Sure enough, this dream did come true. All it took was a little discipline and believing in myself, so let's see if we can make this happen too.

April vacation begins

Last Monday we met our Little Brother and his mom and had our introduction meeting with a Big Brothers Big Sisters match coordinator. We went over the ground rules and then took our Little out for ice cream to get to know him a little. He is a great kid and it was so much fun to meet him... unfortunately our plans for this weekend fell through, but we are looking forward to getting together again soon.

My mom and sister are coming into town tonight and staying for a week. This is the first time we've had anyone come out to visit us here (except for a surprise one-afternoon visit from NK a couple of years ago!) and we are so excited to see them. There are lots of places we can't wait to take them in Omaha, and of course we're looking forward to showing off our house as well. Today is rainy and gray, but the weather should be pretty decent in the coming week. If possible I'd love to hit up the zoo, a few restaurants, some scenic drives, and there is exhibit at the Durham Museum right now called Chocolate: The Exhibition. How could three red-blooded young women miss something like that? The description states Chocolate will immerse you in a sweet experience, engage all your senses, and reveal facets of chocolate you have never thought about before. I'm there.

CHILAQUILES!

What to do with a bag of tortilla chips and a jar of salsa?

Make Chilaquiles!

The above recipe is from Moosewood's Low Fat Cookbook, and it. is. awesome. I made mine with black beans, frozen corn, tomatoes, onions, salsa, Swiss chard, and pepper jack... and of course the crushed tortilla chips. I only used half the amount of cheese called for in the recipe because that's all I had, but it was plenty. 

The bottom layer of crushed chips turns into a salty cornmeal, while the top stays a bit more crusty. You could serve this with more salsa, or sour cream, but it's great as is.  Cheap, easy, delicious... it doesn't get any better than that. Plus you get to yell "CHILAQUILES!" as you cook.

I must say I have become a convert to dried beans instead of canned. It's a little extra effort, but they have so much more flavor, it's lovely. I boil up a pot on Sunday and then have them ready to go for the week's meals.

Spring Cleaning

I've been horribly remiss in updating ye olde blog. Mea culpa! At first it was because nothing at all worth mentioning was happening, and then because life got a little too busy. In the future I will attempt to keep this place a little fresher.

First order of business: I've added a few new Bad Vanity Plates to the sidebar, although not nearly as many as I've seen lately. There have been a rash of first names, for people who apparently suffer from amnesia but at least can remember where they parked the car. What's my name? Hold on, let me check my plates. Oh yes: Otis. 

Most exciting update: Mike and I signed up with Big Brothers Big Sisters of the Midlands. It was originally Mike's idea, as with so many of our life improvements (see: vegetarianism), after he was inspired by President Obama's call to public service. When Mike went to his orientation session, he learned that we could be a Big Couple, so I signed up as well. I just completed my orientation last week, and we can't wait to get a Little Brother. We were told that because there are so many boys awaiting mentors and not enough Bigs for them, we should get a match soon. For girls, the opposite is true: Big Sisters go on a 6-9 month waiting list. So I am happy to help out a little boy who is waiting to find a friend. Out of respect for our Little's privacy, I will probably keep any future blogging about this experience to very limited & general updates, but we are so looking foward to this new adventure.

In more recent news, we had another excellent restaurant meal last night. We went out with friends to Stokes Grill & Bar in the Old Market. It is a Southwest spot that we've been meaning to try for ages, but which I always seem to forget about when we're deciding where to eat; finally, we made it down there. I had somewhat low expectations, and this is probably unfair, mainly because it looks cool and the ambience is well put together. Sometimes restaurants that focus so much on appearances fall apart on the food, but this is not the case at all for Stokes.

I'll mention the one downside up front: not a whole lot of choices for the vege-pesca-tarian. There were only one veggie and two seafood entrees for us to choose from; however, there were also four salads and eleven appetizers that could easily combine to make a meal. The four of us started out by sharing nachos with cowboy beans and some crab rangoons. The rangoons were good, nothing spectacular, but tasty and crispy as they should be; the sauce was a little on the sweet side for me. The nachos were great, with blue & yellow corn chips and plenty of topping.

I ordered fish tacos for my entree: grilled tilapia in two flour tacos served with beans and rice. I usually don't like tilapia all that much, because it has little flavor of its own and is often badly prepared. However, the fish tacos were very good! The tilapia were cut in nice little filets, neatly blackened and well seasoned. The soft tacos seemed fresh and were just a little toasted. Best of all, the beans and rice were absolutely delicious. I have had many Mexican meals since moving to Omaha, and in pretty much every instance the bean & rice sides have been travesties: cold, dry and completely and utterly without flavor. At Stokes, they were hot, seasoned, and zesty. I almost would have been happy just to eat the sides, and that's saying a lot when it comes to beans & rice. Mike ordered the Twisted Garlic Shrimp Pasta: radiatore pasta with Southwest spices, tomato, avocado, and shrimp. He thought it was also very good. I stole a few bites of his pasta and it was tasty: kind of like a Southwest-style mac and cheese. 

One other minor complaint: I ordered a margarita, and, while pleasingly large, it was weak and off-the-charts sweet, with a pretty artificial-tasting lime flavor. Like a limeade with a couple extra teaspoons of sugar. Probably would not order again, but it didn't take anything away from the meal.

Today we have been busy doing some much-needed but much-dreaded housecleaning, including washing the curtains and table linens, and doing poop patrol in the backyard. Of course, two hours after mopping all the floors, it all looks crap again because Russell has dragged in two tons of dry leaves. Lesson for next fall: RAKE.

Salud To Your Health!

Mike and I went to Espana last night for our Valentine's Dinner. We have eaten there once before, but last night's meal tipped me from "like" to "love." I don't know if we ordered a better selection of tapas, or if the chef was having a better night, but I was truly wowed by the food this time.

We started off, of course, with their wonderful Margaritas. Served in a slender juice glass, Espana's Margarita is made with tequila and orange juice - no syrup or fakey lime sugar water. Delicious. And nutritious!

Our first round of tapas was cold. We ordered white asparagus in aioli and a fish/scallop seviche with baby spinach and plaintain chips, and we also received a plate of crusty bread. White asparagus can sometimes be a little on the bland side, but no so in this case; it was tender but full of flavor. The aioli was marvelously tangy and made a nice dipping sauce for the crusty bread. The seviche was one we have ordered before but had to try again. The best way to eat this is to pile the seviche and a leaf or two of spinach onto the plaintain - the flavors together are delightful. Seviche is seviche, but if it's fresh and light, it's good.

Next we had our hot tapas (with another round of Margaritas, of course). We had grilled shrimp in garlic, olive oil, white wine, and lemon... or so it said. I tasted lime, which was tart and sweet and wonderful. Shrimp is very hit or miss for me - if the shrimp itself is bland or too soft, I can't stand it. But this was firm, just a tiny bit crispy on the outside, and full of flavor. 

The low point of the meal was the bowl of steamed clams, I'm afraid. They were a bit tough and sandy, and the white wine sauce was fairly ordinary. Not bad, just a little predictable. But I will forgive one weak spot.

Finally, we tried one of the special tapas of the evening - parsley pesto crostini with divers scallops. And oh. my. god. Wow. These completely blew me away and erased any memory of substandard clams. Each bite just melted in your mouth. The scallops were a bit carmelized on the outsides and tender beyond belief. The bread was soaked in pesto just enough to be soft but not soggy. They were warm and rich and... just wow.

We opted out of dessert, but maybe next time we'll see what they've got. The Margaritas were sweet enough that I wasn't really craving a dessert by the end of the meal. In all, it was a little pricey at $80 plus tip, but well worth it based on quality.

Surviving a Recession Human-Style

Tough economic times have hit the nation, and even the irrepressible Humans have been affected. While I wouldn't exactly call us bona fide Recessionistas, I think we have found a few ways to cut costs during this financially stormy weather.

Cut cable and landline. As I've mentioned before, our cable bill was enough to make Baby Jesus cry. So we got rid of cable TV, canceled the landline, and signed up for a $17/mo Netflix account that gives us three DVDs at a time. Net savings = $120/mo, not bad, not bad at all. 

Shop a little smarter at the grocery store. We call Whole Foods "Church," so I must confess that this is really the last area we are willing to seriously slash. We love food, we believe in eating well, and we don't want to skimp at the expense of our health. But we have done a few things that have lightened our grocery spending. (We include household cleaning and paper products in this line item.) I substituted some canned and frozen veggies for fresh - broccoli is just fine frozen, and canned corn is good enough in the off-season. I switched from canned beans to dry - canned beans are cheap to begin with, but dry are cheaper. And some of the pricier items we use, like soy milk and granola bars, we now buy at Target instead. Net savings = about $25/mo, not too shabby.

Don't heat the rooms we aren't using. I finally got around to it today, but I have been meaning to do this for months - since the summer, I think. I bought magnetic vent covers to block the heating/AC vents in the finished basement and guest room, neither of which we ever use. They cost less than $5 for a three pack at Lowe's. Net savings = TBD.

Don't go anywhere. It's about as much fun as it sounds. But in the short run, we have saved a lot on entertainment spending just by staying in.  The Netflix subscription certainly helps there too. Sure, we're getting cabin fever, but we've had a lot of fun too. You can't do The Robot at a movie theater, and believe me, I've tried. Net savings = as much as we can stand.