Sleeping around

I can only think of one thing right now, and that's how much I would love to be taking a nap. But instead I have to do my homework. And so, sticking to the theme that's very much on my mind, I bring you the Top Ten places I have slept, in no particular order:

1. In bed. Truly, this is the best location for sleeping.

2. Various couches. Underrated, in my opinion.

3. On the beach, overnight, with no tent. Growing up on an island means that when you are a teenager you can indulge a lot of nonsensical ideas, like, "Why don't we just lay some sleeping bags on the beach and crash out there?" And also, "So we don't have a bottle opener, but we can just bash the necks of these beer bottles into a rock until the tops break off and then try not to drink any glass!"

4. In a tent in the woods, in November, in New England. And yes it was very, very, very cold. One of my friends woke up in the morning with frozen contact lenses. See above for the rationale behind this idea.

5. On a futon on the living room floor, when I was about 4 years old, and woke up to find that my baby brother was standing over me, pee arcing out of the top of his diaper and onto my head.

6. On a ferry boat, headed home to the island. I woke up seconds before the boat was about to head back to the mainland - the last trip of the night - the lesson being, never trust the ferry boat workers to make sure you get off the boat.

7. In the back of a friend's minivan at another friend's overnight party. All the good sleeping spots in the house were taken, but the floor of the van worked okay.

8. The kitchen floor in my apartment. This was not my shiningest moment, but certainly we've all had one night in college where we had a few too many and the cool, hard floor seemed to be the friendliest and least vomit-inducing place to sleep? No? Anyone?

9. The floor of my apartment, for a few months. After college I moved to Boston, and for reasons I can't quite remember, couldn't get my futon bed to the apartment for a while. I slept on a thick comforter on the floor, with some fleece blankets thrown over me. I actually grew to like it once my body adjusted. It was very... austere.

10. On two kitchen chairs, at my brother's* apartment. Again for reasons I can't remember, all the beds and couches were taken on one occasion that I visited his place in Boston (I wasn't living in the city at the time). I somehow found myself being the last one awake and hadn't thought ahead to where I was supposed to sleep. The only thing I could come up with was to pull two kitchen chairs together, curl up on the seats, and cover myself with a jacket. And oh yeah, it was the dead of winter.

*I feel that I should say, in light of his appearing in two of these anecdotes, I hold no grudges. But someday perhaps he will have a baby that will pee on his head and justice will be served.